Fantasy Football Pre-Season

This week marks week 5 of the NFL season and more importantly week 5 of my fantasy football season.  I am in a ten team league that is made up of friends from church and from college.  This league has been in existence for four years now with different people subbing in and out each year but the original members still making up over half the league.  One thing that must be explained about this league is that we are relentless in our verbal bashing of each other.  This league does not award the winner with money, prizes, or trophies.  The victor gets bragging rights and these are worth their weight in gold.  This entry will sum up league background information while, the next will explain importance of my matchup this week.  I realize that I am beginning my record of the league five weeks into the season but things are just starting to heat up so it’s as good a place as any to begin.

Part I The Manager Breakdown:

TBS would be proud of our league because it is composed of  characters.  The original members who are present in the league are:  Matt Negro, Michael Negro, Bob Negro (I swear I’m not making up that last name), Jeff Parsons, David Filler and myself.  The new members are: Brandon Gilbert, Bradley Filler, Blake Stone, and John Doe (John Doe’s name is not really John Doe.  That one I made up).  Most everyone in the league is good friends or relatives so it means that we know each other well enough to be downright rude to each other and get away with it. The one exception to this rule is John Doe.  I don’t know John Doe. I don’t like or dislike John Doe as a person but his addition to the league was a last minute snafu that our league manager Michael created when he decided to take a trip to Disney World instead of focus on the league.  (More to come on Michael’s incompetence later.) To conclude, my reason for calling John Doe by the name John Doe is simply that I do not know the name given him by his mother.  The very fact that I do not know his name makes ripping on him difficult. Observe:

Example 1: Hey Matt, Arian Foster is gonna mop the floor with you so hard you won’t know what hit you.

-          This is a good insult it:

o    Addresses who the person is I am trying to insult. 

o   States what is going to happen to them.

o   Tells them who will be carrying out said insult.

o   Quickly executed.

Example 2:  “Hey! Yeah you over there!! No, not you! The guy in the red shirt! No,ugh, not the one in the red button down, the one in the red t-shirt. *guy gestures to himself* yes you, I’m gonna destroy you so bad in fantasy football this week that you will loath the day you were born!!”   Red shirt guy aka John Doe aka Los Angles Xtreme, “Wait? I thought this was fantasy soccer?”

-          Now you can see how not knowing a person’s name can ruin a good insult.

Part II Team Names:   

Owner	Team Name
Michael Negro (Commissioner)	Renegade Angels
Matt Negro	Ride Manning to the Playoffs
Bob Negro	Toledo Mudhens
Me	The Scipio AfricANUS’s
Brandon Gilbert	Aville’s Finest
David Filler	Team Team
John Doe	Los Angeles Xtreme
Blake Stone	Casual Dogs
Brad Filler	Arizona Braddlesnakes
Jeff Parsons	Who is John Galt?

Overall, a pretty strong set of names.  Michael has been rocking the same name for 4 years and probably will continue to for the next 4.  Bob changes his every week he was previously the Gridiorn Gang, then the Gettysburg Gridiorn Gang, then the Royal Gettysburg Gridiron Gang (RG3) after his acquisition of Robert Griffin the 3^rd.  Now he goes by the Toledo Mudhens which he has stuck with for about 37 seconds so we will see how long it lasts. Jeff is referencing the popular Ayn Rand novel Atlas Shrugged with his team name which I respect (It is always wise to respect a good pop culture reference).  My personal favorite aside from my own name is that of David Filler’s Team Team, that name is teaming with well, teams. 

I decided upon my name because at the time of the draft was reading the book “How Great Generals Win” by Bevin Alexander.  This book takes an overview of many of history’s most prominent generals; Napoleon, Genghis Kahn, Robert E. Lee, and Scipio Africanus to name a few.  Prior to reading HGGW my knowledge on Scipio Africanus was minimal at best but reading that book as well as others opened a whole vat of knowledge about one of the greatest oft overlooked generals of all time.  Let me explain, no, there is too much.  Let me sum up; the two great powers in the world at that time (200 B.C.ish) were Carthage and Rome and at the time Rome was the underdog of the two.  Carthage had navel superiority and possibly the greatest general ever (up to that point) leading them: Hannibal Barca.  Carthage had conquered Rome’s Western lands in Spain, marched an army that included elephants over the Alps (1 elephant survived the foray. Mountians 1 – Elephants 0) and had planted his vast army in the heartland of Rome.  Rome’s back was against the wall, they needed a hero quick *que hero music now*and they got one in Scipio Africanus.  He destroyed Carthage in Spain, beat Carthage in Rome, then decided to make it personal by taking the fight across the Med to Carthage itself (Med is short for Mediterranean Sea do please keep up.)  Squaring up against Hannibal himself for the first and last time at the battle of Zama Scipio Africanus used formation ingenuity, cavalry tactics, and trickery to destroy Carthaginian army in such as was to ensure that they would never threaten Rome’s military superiority again. 

I thus named my team after the great Scipio Africanus because I plan to run a play from his book and drive the members of this league into the sea humiliating them with one victory after another (I will be humiliating them with my victories, would be a trifle odd to humiliate them with their own victories).  Additionally, I felt it irresistible to go without accentuating the fact that Old Scippy boy has the word anus featured prominently in his last name.  Thus, the Scipio AfricANUS’s were born. 

Part III Draft Day Team:

	The Scipio AfricANUS’s
QB	Andrew Luck
RB	Arian Foster
RB	Alfred Morris
WR	Brandon Marshall
WR	Dwayne Bowe
TE	Jimmy Graham
Flex	Darren McFadden
Flex	Lamar Miller
DEF	Chiefs
K	Dan Bailey
*****	*****************BENCH*****************
WR	Eric Decker
WR	Malcom Floyd
DEF	Chargers
WR	Santana Moss
RB	Shonn Green
RB	Mikel Leshoure
QB	Jay Cutler

On draft day I felt that I probably had the fourth best team.  My strategy was to draft a QB late and in the early rounds pick up RB’s and skill players.  The first five picks of my draft were as follows:

1.       Arian Foster (RB)

2.       Alfred Morris (RB)

3.       Brandon Marshall (WR)

4.       Jimmy Graham (TE)

5.       Darren McFadden (RB)

The best pick of the draft so far has been Jimmy Graham TE from New Orleans.  I had him two years ago in his rookie year and he was a beast.  Time has only made him more dangerous.  The biggest question mark on my team is Andrew Luck at QB, he’s a good football player but whether he will be fantasy good is a different question. (Answer: it’s week 5, Luck is a consistent 30 points a game). 

Part IV Conclusion

Hopefully, this year of fantasy football goes better than previous years where I was riddled with injuries that allowed my team to self-destruct.  I am not gonna sugar coat it past years haven't been pretty.  My last three seasons all finished with me missing the playoffs and that's a kind way of putting it.  My first season I had 3 wins.  My second I had 4 wins. My third I had 5 wins.  Improvement, but terrible.  I can simply hope that the man himself will carry me through to victory.  (See Man Below).

                                                    

                                                 Scipio Africanus in the Flesh...or marble....