Keys and Legends #3: Best of 2013

One of my favorite sites to visit when I'm in need of a good mapfix is the Wired.com Map Lab.  Today when I visited their site I was delighted to see that they had a new article about the best maps of 2013.  Included in the article are 15 of best maps that this year has to offer and let me tell you, looking at them made me feel like a duck in water, a pig in mud, a kangaroo in the Outback, a crocodile in the Nile, a capybara in...well, you get the picture. I was pleased. 

 I have included the link to the article below.  Some of the maps featured in the article are just still images but others are interactive maps which I encourage you to click on and play around with, to appreciate their beauty if nothing else.  My favorites are maps 3, 7, and 14.  Map three is a map of hurricane and cyclone paths since 1842.  It is not interactive but in my opinion it doesn't need to be.  The image is simple yet increasingly elegant. The pale blue hue of the ocean and continents contrasted with an iridescent white that represents the storms results in a truly powerful and educational image.  Map seven is again a work of art, it represents wind patterns and velocity, but unlike map 3 it is more complex and is bustling with information.  What is the best part you ask? It is that this entire map is updated every three hours with the newest information available. Please do yourself a favor and explore on this interactive gem.  Map fourteen is the oldest map on the list and may be the one I love the most.  It was created in 1817 and is a detailed side by side comparison of the earth's major rivers.  It is drawn by hand and is the type of aesthetic work you don't see this day and age.  The best part about this map however, is that it is wrong.  When this map was published in 1817 the information it depicted was fact but today with the advent of satellites we are able to better measure and view the paths of rivers which has proven many statements on this map false.  An example is that this map declares that the longest rivers are the Amazon (3375mi), Missouri (3365mi), and Yang'tse Kiang (2990mi).  In reality the longest rivers are the Nile(4132mi), Amazon (3976mi), Yang'tse Kiang (3917mi), and the Missouri (3902mi) .  

 If you enjoy these maps half as much as I did you will feel better than a buffalo in Idaho, a tapir in Myanmar, a cockatooti in Djibouti, a… Sorry, Sorry, I got carried away again…Here is the link: http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/maplab/#slideid-472381. Have fun exploring!

  Map of Cyclone and Hurricane Paths...Beautiful  

Map of the Roads Added to Open Street Map in 2013

Meet Your Maker

I want you to imagine that you are at the movie theater and you are watching the newest blockbuster hit.  Now fast-forward to part of the movie where all heck is breaking loose.  The hero is in the midst of a life or death struggle to save his family and the world as we know it.  Tensions are high, and the stakes are higher.  There is no dialog during this scene, but there are two things.  There is action and there is music.

The scene I just described to you could probably be taken from one of a hundred adventure or superhero movies. It seems that there are times in cinema when actions and music speak louder than words.   If you don’t believe me let’s try another example.  Now I want you to picture yourself at a different movie.  The main character has tried their hardest, done everything within their power to succeed, and yet still things don’t go their way.  Perhaps it is the death of a loved one, a breakup, or lost fortune.  These are some of the most emotional heart wrenching moments that you find in movies but now imagine watching that same scene on mute.  Does the emotion of the scene hit you? Are you affected at all?  My guess is that if you watch the scene with volume it will be many times more emotional and real than if you watch it without sound.

When I was in middle school I had a brilliant music teacher who used this very technique to show my peers and me just how important music was when trying to convey emotions.  It doesn’t matter if that emotion is fear, sadness, joy, or epicness, music is able to transcend genres.  From my eighth grade music class I learned to respect music’s place in movies and now when I critique a movie the effectiveness of the music is one of the major areas I observe.  My sister works at a local movie theater so I am able to see a lot of free movies and hear many film scores.  From watching all these movies something troubling is becoming apparent to me.  What is this troubling issue you may ask? It is that many of the big pictures, the most popular films of the last few years seem to have similar sounding scores.  This notion got me to thinking, “who exactly is composing the music that we hear?” Is the music in major films the product of many different composers with maybe a few repeats? Or are there a few dominant players who control the industry?  Below are the results of what I found… 

 (Lists appear with film first followed by composer of film score)

Highest Grossing Films of 2013

1.       Iron Man 3 – Brian Tyler

2.       The Hunger Games: Catching Fire –James Newton Howard

3.       Despicable Me 2 – Pharrell Williams

4.       Man of Steel- Hans Zimmer

5.       Monsters University- Randy Newman

6.       Gravity- Steven Price

7.       Fast & Furious 6- Lucas Vidal

8.       Oz the Great and Powerful –Danny Elfman

9.       Star Trek Into Darkness – Michael Giacchino

10.   Frozen *- Kristen Anderson Lopez/Robert Lopez

*The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug is likely to be in the top 10 bumping out Frozen.  This soundtrack was conducted by Howard Shore

Highest Grossing Films of 2012

1.       The Avengers- Alan Silvestri

2.       Dark Knight Rises- Hans Zimmer

3.       Hunger Games- James Newton Howard

4.       Skyfall- Thomas Newman

5.       The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey –Howard Shore

6.       Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2- Carter Burwell

7.       Amazing Spider-Man- James Horner

8.       Brave- Patrick Doyle

9.       Ted- Walter Murphy

10.   Madagascar 3- Hans Zimmer

Highest Grossing Films of 2011

1.       Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 – Alexandre Desplat

2.       Transformers: Dark of the Moon – Steve Jablonsky

3.       Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 – Carter Burwell

4.       Hangover Part II – Christophe Beck

5.       Pirates of the Carribbean: On Stranger Tides- Hans Zimmer

6.       Fast Five- Brian Tyler

7.       Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol – Michael Giacchino

8.       Cars 2- Michael Giacchino

9.       Sherlock Holms: Game of Shadows- Hans Zimmer

10.   Thor- Patrick Doyle

Highest Grossing Films 2010

1.       Toy Story 3- Randy Newman

2.       Alice in Wonderland – Danny Elfman

3.       Iron Man 2- John Debney

4.       Twilight Saga Eclipse- Howard Shore

5.       Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1- Alexandre Desplat

6.       Inception – Hans Zimmer

7.       Despicable Me – Pharrell Williams

8.       Shrek Forever After – Harry Gregson-Williams

9.       How to Train Your Dragon – John Powell

10.   Tangled – Alan Menken  

The Breakdown (Number of Movies per Composer)

6  Hans Zimmer (Inception, Man of Steel, Madagascar 3, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, Dark Knight Rises, Sherlock Holms Game of Shadows)

3  Howard Shore (The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug, Twilight Saga: Eclipse)

3  Michael Giacchino (Cars 2, Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol, Star Trek Into Darkness)

2  Alexandre Desplat (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 and Part 2)

2  Brian Tyler (Fast Five, Iron Man 3)

2  Carter Burwell (Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 and Part 2)

2  Danny Elfman (Oz the Great and Powerful, Alice in Wonderland)

2  James Newton Howard (The Hunger Games, Catching Fire)

2  Patrick Doyle (Thor, Brave)

2  Pharrell Williams (Despicable Me, Despicable Me 2)

2  Randy Newman (Monsters University, Toy Story 3)

1  Alan Menken (Tangled)

1  Alan Silvestri (The Avengers)

1  Christophe Beck (Hangover Part 2)

1  Harry Gregson Williams (Shrek Forever After)

1  James Horner (Amazing Spider-Man)

1  John Debney (Iron Man 2)

1  John Powell (How to Train Your Dragon)

1  Kristen Anderson Lopez/Robert Lopez (Frozen)

1  Lucas Vidal (Fast and Furious 6)

1  Steve Jablonsky (Transformers:  Revenge of the Fallen)

1  Steven Price (Gravity)

1  Thomas Newman (Skyfall)

1  Walter Murphy (Ted)

Results

Twenty-four different composers have been responsible for creating the scores of the 40 highest grossing films of the 2010’s (Highest 41 if you include The Desolation of Smaug).  That number works out to about 1.7 films conducted per each of the twenty-four composers on the list.  That stat in and of itself is not bad.  There are a few composers like Hans Zimmer that lead the pack and plenty of composers with only a single film to their credit but on a standard distribution curve these numbers would plot quite nicely.  There is however more to this story than meets the eye and that comes in the form of the film score production studio: “Remote Control Productions.”  You see many times composers act as their own bosses making deals to do films with music studios or being selected by directors (ex: John Williams and Steven Spielberg) but sometimes composers work for film score studios of which Remote Control Productions is an example.

What sets Remote Control Studios apart from other production studios is that it is massive and that it is owned by non-other than Hans Zimmer the number one man on our list.  Remote Control Studios employees not 10, 20, or 30, but over 50 composers who are constantly working on movie scores and in addition to that they produce music for films which they are not directly composing.  Many of the composers who are employed at Remote Control Studios have become very successful and are on the list I created above. This includes:  James Newton Howard, John Powell, Steve Jablonsky, Henry Gregson Williams and production for Pharrell Williams.  So let’s see what the results look like when we factor in all music that goes through Hans Zimmer and his studio.

6  Hans Zimmer (Inception, Man of Steel, Madagascar 3, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, Dark Knight Rises, Sherlock Holms Game of Shadows)

2  James Newton Howard (The Hunger Games, Catching Fire)

2  Pharrell Williams (Despicable Me, Despicable Me 2)

1  Harry Gregson Williams (Shrek Forever After)

1 John Powell (How to Train Your Dragon)

1  Steve Jablonsky (Transformers:  Revenge of the Fallen)

- - - - - - - - - - - -  - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  

13 Films with Music Scored by Remote Control Studios

These results mean that out of the 41 highest grossing movies of the past four years over 31% of them have been created or produced in some way by Hans Zimmer.  This is an impressive feat but at the same time I feel like it leaves room for concern. I am a big fan of Zimmer’s work especially in the Pirates of the Caribbean series but I feel like since that it has been slipping some.  Could we have a case of quantity over quality?  Moreover, is it possible that because of Zimmer’s great success other composers are borrowing his style to create the popular sound that “everyone” wants to hear?  I don’t know the answer, but what I do know is that when nearly a third of the music in popular movies sounds the same people are going to start to get bored and that will usher in change.  The question really is will Remote Control Studios be part of the change or a casualty of it?

                                    

                                      The Face of Movie Music  (Actually Kinda Unsettling) 

Sources:

http://www.hans-zimmer.com/index.php?rub=rcprod

http://boxofficemojo.com
http://www.btlnews.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/LR-Hans-Zimmer.jpg

White Christmas (Keys and Legends #2)

Merry Christmas Bloggers!!!  Odds are that like myself you are experiencing a Christmas that is less frozen and snow covered than you would like.  Here in south central Pennsylvania during the last two weeks we have received a foot of snow only to have it melt during three freakish 60 degree days that were followed by a rain storm.  So despite it being a brisk 26 degrees outside there is not a snowflake to be had.  In the last ten years I can only remember three Christmases in which snow was on the ground and only one in which it was actually snowing.  This got me to thinking...If it is so hard to come by the fabled white Christmas in south central PA where would a person have to be in the U.S. to avoid disappointment?


Below are two maps; one from USA Today with data from the National Climate Data Center and the other from Climate Central made using data acquired from the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration.  As one would expect these maps show that areas with higher elevation, higher latitude, and those areas prone to lake effect are the most likely to experience a Christmas that is white.  If you are a resident of the Rocky Mountains / Catskills or Northern Maine, Michigan, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Idaho, Washington, New York, Vermont, New Hampshire, Montana, or Washington you are 90% certain to experience a white Christmas.  Contrastingly, if you are a resident of the deep south or Florida you are more than likely outta luck. (Sorry Key West!).


As a side note you can see that these two maps are displaying more or less the same information. They both show high and low probability of snow in the same areas but the map from USA Today is considerately easier to interpret.  The reason for this is that the USA Today map uses a qualitative color scheme.  This means that the colors for each percentage are very different from their neighbors. (Example: the 26-40% range is a dark blue while the 41-50% range is gray.)  This qualitative approach makes it easier for the eye to pickup on subtle changes especially in congested areas with a lot of change like Colorado or Nevada.  The Climate Central map uses a sequential color scheme which means that you start with one color hue and change its saturation level as the percentages it represents change.  In this case the darkest blue is no snow and the lightest blue - white is a very high percentage of snow.  The sequential color scheme is a perfectly fine scheme in its own right but is not best suited for a map with complex changes such as this one. 

So have a Merry White Christmas to those of you in the north and better luck next year to the rest of you, may the odds be ever in your favor.

Map of Snow Fall Percentages from USA Today (Over the Last 30 Years)

http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/weather/climate/whitcmas.htm

Map of Snow Fall Percentages from Climate Central (Averages from 1981-2010)

http://www.climatecentral.org/news/new-map-shows-where-odds-highest-for-white-christmas-16879

PopChartLab

I was recently scouring the web for unique maps when I stumbled upon a website called Pop Chart Lab (popchartlab.com).  Pop Chart Lab is a site whose primary function is to design and sell posters, but these posters are not the kind you would find in a Walmart or Target.  The posters at Pop Chart Lab are what results when graphic designers, mapheads, and nerds decide to hangout and make posters.  Surprisingly, the final products are nothing short of stunning.  Tackling the subjects of pop culture, food, technology, and beer the posters manage to walk a fine line between aesthetically pleasing and tantalizingly informative.  Whether in the form of a map, infograph, or chart there is certain to be a poster of interest for just about everybody:   From the beer connoisseur to fashion guru, the cheese wizz to the techie.  

Below are a few of my favorites: 

(visit the links for a zoomed in image)

Well, Eh, How About a Little Red Leicester...

http://popchartlab.com/collections/prints/products/the-charted-cheese-wheel

I Appear To Have My Work Cutout For Me

http://popchartlab.com/collections/prints-drink/products/breweries-of-the-united-states

In A Playground Is Where He Spent Most Of His Days

http://popchartlab.com/collections/prints-music-and-movies/products/migratory-patterns-of-fresh-princes

A Walk In The Woods

A snow storm came through south central PA recently and I couldn't resist taking my camera for a walk.  All of these pictures were taken using my IPhone 5 and were polished with the help of Instagram. 

Fun Facts: 

-People buy more cakes, cookies and candies than any other food when a blizzard is in the forecast.

-A blizzard occurs when you can’t see for 1/4 mile. The winds are always 35 miles an hour or more. The storm must last at least 3 hours to be classed as a blizzard. If any of these conditions are less, it is only a snowstorm.

-An average snowflake is made up of 180 billion molecules of water.

Tickle Your Innards

It’ll Tickle Your Innards.

As far as company slogans go this has to be my favorite.  To what company does this outrageous line belong you may ask?  A laxative manufacture? Or Perhaps the creators of the next Elmo Doll? Nay, wrong on both accounts.   This gem belonged to the beverage Mountain Dew when it was first released by Pepsi in 1965 (The full slogan was: “Yahoo Mountain Dew…It’ll Tickle Your Innards).

 I was first inspired to write this post when visiting a Taco Bell.  Upon ordering I found myself at the soda dispenser faced with the conundrum of selecting a beverage with which to wash down my delectable Crunch Wrap Supreme.  The selection was not as difficult as one may expect.  I did what any self-respecting Taco Bell connoisseur would.  I went for the Mountain Dew Baja Blast (MDBB).  A soda so sugary and so pure, that some liken it a nectar of life.  MDBB is a style of Mountain Dew only found at Taco Bell establishments its flavor is tropical lime and it has been scientifically proven to accentuate and compliment the Taco Bell flavors. 

As I was savoring this tropical limey cacophony of tastes it occurred to me that there may be other flavors of Mountain Dew that were sold exclusively like Baja Blast or that there could be some flavors that were no longer in circulation.  Upon doing some research I was rewarded with the  list of current and past Mountain Dews….which is simply incredible….Brace yourself…

The List:

·         Mountain Dew

·         Caffeine Free Mountain Dew

·         Diet Mountain Dew

·         Mountain Dew Red

·         Diet Mountain Dew Red

·         Caffeine Free Diet Mountain Dew

·         Mountain Dew Sport

·         Diet Mountain Dew Sport

·         Mountain Dew Code Red

·         Diet Mountain Dew Code Red

·         Mountain Dew Live Wire

·         Mountain Dew Pitch Black

·         Mountain Dew Baja Blast

·         Mountain Dew Pitch Black II

·         Mountain Dew Game Fuel

·         Mountain Dew Supernova

·         Mountain Dew Revolution

·         Mountain Dew Voltage

·         Mountain Dew Game Fuel: World of Warcraft Horde Red

·         Mountain Dew Game Fuel: World of Warcraft Alliance Blue

·         Diet Mountain Dew Ultra Violet

·         Mountain Dew Throwback

·         Mountain Dew Cherry Fusion

·         Mountain Dew Distortion

·         Mountain Dew Typhoon

·         Mountain Dew White Out

·         Mountain Dew Flare

·         Mountain Dew Crave

·         Diet Mountain Dew Supernova

·         Mountain Dew Game Fuel: Cherry Citrus

·         Mountain Dew Game Fuel: Tropical

·         Mountain Dew Dark Berry

·         Mountain Dew Johnson City Gold

·         Mountain Dew Game Fuel: Cherry Citrus Halo 4

·         Mountain Dew Kickstart Orange Citrus

·         Mountain Dew Kickstart Fruit Punch

·         Mountain Dew Game Fuel: Cherry-Citrus Dead Rising 3

·         Mountain Dew Game Fuel: Electrifying Berry

·         Mountain Dew Kickstart Black Cherry

·         Mountain Dew Kickstart Limeade

This list is comprised of flavors only available in the United States and does not account for any Slurpee or energy drink flavors.  That makes 40 different varieties of Mountain Dew created to date with 16 currently in production in the United States.  I have only tried five of the various flavors and I tip my hat to anyone who has sampled even half of this carbonated cornucopia.  In closing I would like to thank liquor, because without it there would be no Mountain Dew which was originally developed when two brothers from Tennessee didn’t think that was a good enough mixer on the market and decided to create their own.  Incidentally, Mountain Dew is slang for moonshine.  

                                           

                                              Innard Ticklin Goodness in Every Bottle 

                          Perhaps the Slogan Should Have Been "Taste the Rainbow"

United States of Swearing

I stumbled upon this article the other day and found it to be very interesting. According to a study conducted Ohio is the top swearing state in the U.S. and the 5th least courteous, meaning when people from Ohio swear at you its because they are ticked off and mean you malice.  In contrast Maryland is the number two most swearing state but the third most courteous, so when they swear it is with goodwill toward men.

Example:

Maryland:  Have a nice effing day!

Ohio:  I hope you have an effing terrible day!


check out the link below to get the full scoop and see some fancy maps and charts:

http://www.theatlanticcities.com/arts-and-lifestyle/2013/12/congratulations-ohio-you-are-sweariest-state-union/7756/

I Have a New Favorite Animal

I was recently asked what my favorite animal was.  This may seem like a simple straight forward question, but for me it was not.  The reason for all the difficulty was that this question involved two things that I love very much: Animals and Ranking things in lists.  My first thought, was to ask whether I could break it down into favorite mammal, bird, fish, etc.  But before I asked the question I shushed myself.  This was indeed a simple question and it deserved a simple answer.  So begrudgingly I went to my default, ace in the pocket, old faithful answer.  The Malayan Tapir. 

    The Malayan Tapir

The Malayan Tapir has been my go to favorite animal for a number of years now.  I like it because of its uniqueness, not many people have heard of it much less list it among their favorite animals. I also like it because it looks plain awesome, like an Elephant Pig or some science project gone astray. Don’t let the looks fool you though, Tapirs are more closely related to horses and rhinos than any other animal and the Malayan Tapir is the largest in the Tapirs Family and the only species of Tapir native to Asia.  Despite my admiration for this majestic beast I knew that it no longer help the lofty position of my favorite animal.  Over the next few days I thought about the myriad of animals I had viewed at zoos and aquariums, seen on TV shows, or read about in literature.  I had some free time one evening and decided to watch a BBC TV series entitled “The Life of Mammals.” It was while doing so that I rediscovered an animal that I had first encountered a number of years ago.  The Pangolin. (Not to be confused with Penguin)

Pangolins (of which the giant variety are my favorite) are simply stated an incredible animal and upon rediscovering them I knew instantly that I have found a winner.  Pangolins look like an anteater in chainmail.  A dinosaur crossed with a M1A1 Abram. An alien from another realm.  However you describe them to appear they are arguably unlike any animal you have ever seen before.  Pangolins come in a range of sizes but to avoid confusion I will focus on the giant pangolins that are native to sub-Saharan Africa.  If my imaginative descriptions of pangolins from earlier didn’t paint a visual image of this creature for you than nothing will so simply refer to the images below.  There are several traits that make the giant pangolin so cool, the most noticeable of these is probably the scales that cover their bodies.  Other mammals have protective hardware; porcupines with quills and armadillos with tough plates, but no mammal other that the pangolin has scales.  Moreover, these scales not only offer protection from large predators but also neatly overlap to provide protection from the bites of ants and other stinging insects that the pangolin feeds upon.  Another power the pangolin possesses is the ability to emit pungent acid from a special set of glands; this acid is comparable to the spray of a skunk and is an effective way to deter predators.   Finally, the giant pangolin is remarkable because it doesn’t use its front legs for walking.  Instead it uses its back legs and tail for balance groping through the underbrush with the look of a drunken velociraptor.  These animals can weigh up to 70lbs and reach 4.5 feet in length.  Their scales are not those of a reptile or fish but are actually made up of keratin, the same stuff human figure nails are made of.  Fortunately, pangolins are ranked as “Low Risk” on the conservation status list meaning that they are doing alright in the wild, we can only hope that this will remain the case and that this odd creature will continue to thrive.   

    Walking on Back Legs

   Defensive Position

    Armament 

    The Giant Pangolin

Keys and Legends #1

Age of Internet Empires




If you are like me you probably find yourself surfing the web numerous times throughout the day.  Whether it is on my laptop, Ipad, or Iphone I seem to always be connected.  It is so convenient to whip out an Iphone to search for the answer to a question, or pull up Pandora while at work to listen to music.  This obsession with connectivity is not only isolated to America, it is a global obsession.  In this global obsession there are several major players, the sites that everyone seems to visit on a regular basis.  A quick examination of my browser history showed that for me: Google, Yahoo, ESPN, and IMDB rank among my most visited sites.  However, I am a twenty something American male, do any of my most visited sites stand-up on a global scale?  To find an answer to this question I turned to...you guessed it...the internet.  What I found was a delightful visual created by the Alexa Company that displays a political map of the globe and the most visited website for each country.  Some of the sites will come as no surprise.  Google and Facebook are numbers one and two with 62 and 50 countries respectively. After these juggernauts the list takes a drastic drop in both global influence and popularity in America.  With Baidu(2), Yahoo(2), Al-Watan Voice(1), Mail.ru(1), VK(1), and Yandex(1) making up that lower tier the only site I have ever heard of much less used is Yahoo.  The other sites are all largely entrenched in their native countries with Yandex in Russia and Baidu in China.  Overall, the map is a fascinating testament to the global dominance of Google and Facebook and also the unwillingness of much of Asia to adopt western culture even in a globalized world.

You can view the map and read what Alexa Company has to say about it at this link:

http://geography.oii.ox.ac.uk/2013/09/age-of-internet-empires/

The "Mad" Knight

Sadly, not many people know much about the American Revelation.  Folks generally know that July 4^th is Independence Day although may don’t know why that day is significant (Insert tourist here:  the civil war ended then…right?).  Additionally, people know the big players such as Washington, Jefferson, Franklin, and John Adams.  But not many people, especially those in my younger generation can tell you why they are important or even more disturbingly, seem to care.  It should not come as a surprise then that when I prompted some work colleges into a discussion on Revolutionary War Generals there was little said about anybody other than George Washington.  Don’t get me wrong, Washington was amazing but there are many others whose combined effort helped win the war (or stifle the war effort as is the case with Benedict Arnold).  Some of the under-appreciated leaders include: Nathanael Green, Henry Knox, Artemas Ward and dare I say it a Frenchman or two.  However, my favorite revolutionary general is “Mad” Anthony Wayne. 

                                         

                                              A dashing fellow that young "Mad" Anthony 

Anthony Wayne was like myself, a Pennsylvania man.  He was born in Chester County PA to a well off family and was raised (ironically) only a few miles from Valley Forge.  As seems customary of many great minds from that day he held multiple professions. In addition to being a Major General in the Continental Army he also dabbled in: surveying, politics, and running a rice plantation.  Wayne was graced by the fact that his family was friends with Benjamin Franklin; who in 1766 asked Wayne to survey land that he owned in Nova Scotia.  Wayne’s relationship with Franklin helped to kick start his political career which was becoming prominent near the onset of the Revolutionary War.  It wasn’t until the beginning of the war that Wayne’s name became a household name.  He began his military career by raising a Pennsylvania Militia which was eventually incorporated into the Continental Army and for this action he was given the rank of Colonel.  He and his men took part in many different engagements throughout the war including the battles of; Trois-Rivieres, Brandywine, and Germantown.  Wayne’s two greatest victories and the ones that earned him his nickname were the battle of Stony Point and Green Springs.  At Stony Point he was assigned to capture a British fort along the Hudson River.  During this battle Anthony and his men preformed a daring night raid moving through a swamp to capture the superior British force.  Anthony was struck in the head with shrapnel creating a severe wound but he continued the attack.  At the battle of Green Springs he was outgunned yet led a successful bayonet charge against superior British Forces, thus securing the nickname “Mad” and earning him a promotion to Major General.  Wayne would go on to sit on the Second United States Congress and on the Pennsylvania Legislature.  He retired on his rice plantation in Georgia but was called back into duty to participate in the Northwest Indian War where he led multiple victories winning the war for the United States.  Wayne would die 2 years later from complications of gout.

Many places and things would go on to be named in honor of Wayne.  The towns of Waynesboro PA and Fort Wayne Indiana, as well as Wayne County PA are examples of this.  There is even an Ohio based brewery (the Mad Anthony Brewing Company) named in his honor whose specialty brew is an Irish Stout proudly named “the Harry Baal’s.” 

                            

                                     I sure do love Harry Baal's when I'm thirsty!!!....Wait...What?

With all the pomp and circumstance surrounding Anthony Wayne it should come as no surprise that he would be incorporated into literature as well.  In 1939 writer Bill Finger penned Detective Comics #27.  It was about a millionaire industrialist who was brutally murdered.  Unable to solve the crime police have to request backup from a private detective.  This private detective goes on to solve the case and throw the murder into a vat of boiling acid.  The detective’s name is Bruce Wayne and his secret identity:  Batman.  As it would turn out in the fictional world of DC Comics Bruce Wayne is a direct decedent of General “Mad” Anthony Wayne himself. 

But wait….It gets better!

Several months ago I received a letter in the mail from my grandmother.  We had been talking in depth about family genealogy and history and I had expressed interest in becoming the honorary family historian.  Included with the letter was a family tree.  As I examined the tree I began by reading the names, there was nothing out of the ordinary.  My attention then turned to the typed notes that appeared off to the side of some names.  My heart stopped.  Then leapt.  Then did a barrel roll.  Typed neatly to the side of Richard Idding’s (my 7 greats grandfather) name was this message: Came to Chester County from Wales about 1700. His first son Richard was grandfather to “Mad” Anthony Wayne.  Stunned for only an instant, I reexamined the chart with a newfound gusto. Take the Noecker side of the family carry the 4 add in a Cornelia Hall multiply by the power of Henry Iddings divide by the year 1700.  It was all there.  The math all added up.  “Mad” Anthony’s Great Grandfather, and my 7 Greats Grandfather were one in the same.  I was related to General “Mad” Anthony Wayne! But more importantly, I realized that I am related to Bruce Wayne….I am related to the coolest fictional superhero ever imagined….I am related to Batman! 

  

                               

He’s the relative that I deserve, but not the one I need right now.  So I’ll forget to invite him to reunions because he can take it.  Because he’s not my brother.  He’s the silent third cousin twice removed, watchful kinsman.  The "Mad" Knight. 

We Are...Terrified

We Are… Series #1

When I was a junior at Penn State University I lived in an apartment with my good friend Blake and 2 completely random guys assigned to the same apartment by the management of the apartment complex.  The guy’s names were Chris and Jeff; both were engineering majors and seniors at Penn State.  In the beginning they seemed cool and the first few weeks went well considering that I was living with people I had just met.  However, a month into the fall semester an event transpired that would come to prove that at least one of my new roommates was not cool after all.  The apartment was set up like the diagram below depicts.  I was in bedroom A, Jeff was in B, Blake C and Chris D.  Each of us had our own bedroom and shared a bathroom with another person.

It was a Wednesday night and it was Jeff’s 22^nd birthday.  He and Chris decided that they would head to downtown State College to celebrate by throwing a couple back. By a couple I mean quite a few.  By quite a few I mean a lot.  They left our apartment around 10:00pm, roughly the same time I was preparing to go to sleep.  I had an exam the next day and wanted to get a good nights rest.  I shut my bedroom door, turned off the light, got into bed, and promptly drifted off to sleep.  I wasn’t asleep long when I was awoken by a loud crash. Snapping wide awake, my eyes strained through the darkness to see the source of all the commotion.  I saw a dark figure standing in my doorway and noticed that my door had been violently thrown open so that it slammed against my closet door.  I was paralyzed with fear.  I must have looked pathetic lying in bed, covers pulled up to my chin, waiting motionless.  The shadow began to come towards me and then I realized that it was my roommate Jeff.  At this point I became less scared and more angry.  Was he coming in to steal my things? Did he always invite himself into my room when I was sleeping? 

I decided to lay in wait to see if I could catch him commit a crime.  He first wandered over to my desk, then to my dresser; talking to himself the whole time.  Eventually, he made his way to my closet and was looking at something on my top shelf.  His next action was so swift that I didn’t have a chance to stop him but do I ever wish I had.  In one fell swoop he lost interest with the top of my closet and looked down.  It was at that point I heard the sound: zippppp!  A second later I heard another sound.  The sound of water running but this wasn’t water….

Simultaneously outraged and more terrified then ever I sat up in bed and yelled at him.  This was folly and before I knew it I heard the post wiz zip and saw Jeff turning around.  He stared at me but seemed to see right through me.  I then in a not so kind voice shouted, “Jeff, do you know what you just did?!” Snapping out of his stupor he looked at me and got a big grin.  He then took two steps towards my bed and said, “Scoot over, I’m coming in.” It was at this point that any fear remaining in me dissipated.  “NO YOU’RE NOT!!!”  I screamed and proceeded to jump out of bed and forcibly guide/push Jeff out of my room.  Getting him into our conjoined bathroom I pointed to his bed room and told him to go.  He spotted his bed, smiled that drunken grin, and ran into his own room.  After which I promptly closed his door. 

Realizing that I would have to see to the urine in my closed I turned on the lights to my bedroom.  Cautiously, I peered in the closet and to my great delight (as delighted as one can be when there is wee in his closet) saw that he had managed to expel all his fluids perfectly into one of my duffle bags.  Removing the bag I assembled my meager cleaning arsenal and went to work.  I drained, toweled, and sprayed until I was satisfied, and then deposited the whole thing in the washing machine for good measure.  Exhausted, I went back to sleep being sure to lock my door.  In the morning, I confronted Jeff about the incident and…..he informed me that I made the whole event up and that it never took place.  I was irate.  He didn’t even have the courtesy to apologize for maybe doing it.  To make matters worse Blake and Chris were not sure who to believe.  I felt high and dry.  Then a few weeks later Chris and Jeff went out a second time.  This time Chris stayed sober and followed Jeff after they got home. To his astonishment Jeff went straight to my room and preceded to try and breakdown the door shouting, “Why is the bathroom locked?”  Chris directed Jeff to the proper facilities and the next time we saw one another he proceeded to apologize for having ever doubted me.  So the moral of the story? …When someone pees in your closet save the evidence!

Fantasy Football Week 6 Preview

Matchup: The Scipio AfricANUS’s vs. The Casual Dogs

I’ll try to keep this preview short, it shouldn’t be a problem because this week’s matchup will be a cakewalk.  The hard opening to my season is over I beat: Matt, Michael, and Bob all of whom have solid teams and I am now entering a tranquil stretch.  My next three games are against: Blake, John Doe, and Dave who have a combined record of 4-11.  This fact has me quite relaxed and at ease about the outcome of the next few games.  In three weeks I should be sitting pretty at 7-1 in an undisputed first place.  Knowing that I don’t need to spend time fortifying my roster as I would for tougher matches has freed up my schedule.  During all this extra time I got to thinking and one thought kept coming to the top of my mind: I BEAT YOU MICHAEL!!! (I beat you Michael is not actually the thought that kept coming to mind, but I couldn’t help myself! If you are reading this Michael I must let you know that it is lonely on top.)

The thing that I couldn’t stop thinking about was Blake’s team name; The Casual Dog’s.  After considerable thought I have decided that this name is…is what? I cannot seem to form an opinion on it.  When I asked Blake how he came up with name he started rambling on about his honeymoon and something about Maine and blah, blah, blah.  It was all very wearisome and I lost interest quickly.  I did however retain enough attention to notice that Blake’s team was without a mascot.  So, cute honeymoon tale aside I set out on a search scouring the web for “Casual Dogs” in the most literal sense of the term.  These are my top votes for Blake’s new mascot:

                      Casual Dog 1: The Swinger

            Casual Dog 2: Clint Eastwood meets France 

  

                   Casual Dog 3: Jolly Good!

                                                       Casual Dog 4: The Hipster

                                                           Casual D--....Hmmm

                  Casual Dog 6: Did I stutter?!!!

                                                     Casual Dog 7: The Original

If I had to place a wager I would say Blake's favorite would be Casual Dog 2.  I'm personally a fan of #5 but thats just me.  Another wager I would place is that Blake is going to have a rough week against me.  Hopfully, I end up on the winning side of that bet.